Sunday, November 24, 2013

Husband's Porn Addiction; How to RESPOND.

4 Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Porn Addiction

man on computer
(FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
Your husband's addiction to pornography has just been discovered. The aftermath of this betrayal leaves every precious memory grimy and tainted. You muse back on your wedding night. Was he thinking of someporn star as he touched you? When you were working to conceive a baby together by night, what had he been conceiving with his computer monitor by day?
Your dreams are shattered. You despise him for how his sexual addiction makes you see him, and you're panicked by how it makes you see yourself.
You're tempted to think, I knew he never had eyes only for me, but I never dreamed it could go this far. I feel so ugly now. And when he isn't quick to repent, who can blame you when you icily sneer, "Just get lost with that cuddly computer of yours and have fun."
Head spinning, heart breaking, you cry in desperate prayer: "Can I ever trust my husband again? My whole marriage is a mirage! Where are You, Lord?"
God is right beside you. Sure, it may appear that He has taken His hand off of your marriage, but your husband's sin has been in God's sights for some time—a sin that has been washing out your spiritual protection and threatening to flood your children's lives with generational sin—in spite of how well your husband's been hiding the evidence. But now God's blown your husband's cover, a sure sign of God's active role in your marriage.
God wants you to take an active role, too, and the first step in rebuilding trust with your husband is to trust God enough to find His heart for your husband in this mess. God wants restoration.
God's Heart for Men Who Struggle 
Recently, my husband, Fred, and I knelt in intercession as he prepared to challenge a large group of pastors to deeper sexual purity. Without warning, Fred suddenly broke into deep sobs. Moments later, he walked out and spoke with a grace and power I had never seen in him before.
Later, he recounted, "I wasn't sure I had the right attitude, so I prayed, 'Lord, I want Your heart as I speak to these men today. As many as half of these guys have been checking out the porn, and You know how that frustrates me to no end. But Lord, I don't want to speak out of my feelings. Can You let me feel Your feelings toward them today?'
"Instantly, the Lord laid His emotions inside my chest. I burst into tears and felt as though my heart would explode. Then, about three minutes later, it stopped as quickly as it began. Quietly, the Lord whispered, 'There. Now you know how I ache for My cherished pastors, in spite of their sin. Speak to them from that aching place in My heart.'"
God wants you to minister to your husband in that same grace and power, and He can give you His heart for your husband as easily as He gave Fred His heart for the pastors. God wants His heart reigning inside of you, enabling you to see beyond your husband's sin and into the brokenness behind it all.
I speak from personal experience. Even when Fred's temper and sexual sin were ripping up our home, I could see value in him beyond his sin. He had put me first in so many ways in our relationship, and it made me willing to want to go an extra mile for him.
I could also see the dysfunctional pain and confusion still trailing him from his broken childhood home. I saw that he had never had one completely faithful person in his entire life. I decided to become that first person.
There was another reason I chose restoration over divorce. God loves restoration for the same reason He hates divorce: the children. He knows how hard it is to raise godly children in the wake of divorce, and He knows that the message of salvation passes down to them most easily when the parents are one.
Speaking of husbands and wives through His prophet Malachi, God says: "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they're His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God" (Mal. 2:15-16, NIV).
In light of all this, I knew I had no right to think of myself first in our marital troubles. I had to think of the kids before I thought of myself and, so, I had to see Fred and the marriage before myself, too. The same is true for you.
Granted, your marriage may now be in shambles, and what lies ahead might even be worse. But God's call on your life still remains—to build a marriage that pictures Christ's relationship to the church.
Is Divorce Ever an Option?
Obviously, some men will never soften. When is the damage from his sexual sin irreparable? Is divorce ever an option?
Sure it is. Adultery always makes divorce an option, and if your husband will not repent and refuses to turn from an ongoing, regular porn habit, he is an adulterer.

    Friday, November 22, 2013

    Probe into alleged killings of children in Central Africa- UNICEF

    UNICEF calls for probe into alleged killings of children in Central African Republic.





    In the village of Mélé, Central African Republic, only half of the children in the region go to school because of conflict. Photo: UNICEF/Pierre Holtz


     19
    14 November 2013 – The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has urged the transitional government in the Central African Republic (CAR) to immediately investigate recent allegations of killings of children amid the renewed violence in the country.
    “Any allegation of children being killed should be taken very seriously and looked at thoroughly,” Souleymane Diabate, UNICEF Representative in CAR, said in a news release.
    “If confirmed, perpetrators must be brought to justice. Since the beginning of the crisis, the population has been desperate for protection. Impunity must end immediately in order to break the vicious cycle of violence.”
    A transitional government is in place and entrusted with restoring law and order and paving the way for democratic elections in the country, which is recovering from the violence that erupted last December when the Séléka rebel coalition launched a series of attacks.
    However, recent armed clashes and reports of massacres are threatening to further destabilize the nation, which is also facing a dire humanitarian situation that affects some 4.6 million people.
    Since September, clashes between local self-defence groups called Anti-Balaka and ex-Séléka forces have triggered large scale displacements of up to 400,000 people, UNICEF said. These attacks have reportedly resulted in the killings of civilians, including children, in north-western CAR, especially Bossangoa, Bouar, Bohong and Yaloke.
    With many displaced families still scared to return home, UNICEF teams initially set up two areas in two displacement sites in Bossangoa where up to 600 children can feel safe and protected, play, access recreational and art activities and receive counselling and support.
    “UNICEF strongly condemns all acts of violence against children and calls on the transitional government to further investigate these reports and ensure that perpetrators of such acts are identified and brought to justice,” the agency stated.
    It also called on the transitional government and all armed forces and armed groups operating in the country to abide by international law, including Security Council resolutions aimed at ending the recruitment and use of children, the killing and maiming of children, and sexual violence against children in situations of armed conflict.

    News Tracker: past stories on this issue

    ESTELLA'S MOBILE COMPUTER BUS HELP POOR STUDENTS' IMPROVE GRADES.

    STORY HIGHLIGHTS
    ·         Estella Pyfrom's mobile computer lab is for those who lack computer, Internet access
    ·         The "Brilliant Bus" helps poor students improve their grades, prepare for college
    ·         It's also giving adults a chance to better themselves, improve their quality of life.

       "Estella's Brilliant Bus"

     Estella’s Brilliant Bus, formerly known as Project Aspiration, is a customized mobile learning center, designed to travel to communities and deliver services to children and families throughout the state of Florida, nation and world. 

    In order to make the vision become a reality, Estella Pyfrom invested a large sum of her pension money into the project. She is confident that the project is helping to improve the quality of life for children and families and is making a difference…one child at a time and/or one family at a time.  Keep Reading »




    UNICEF calls for probe into alleged killings of children in Central African Republic.





    In the village of Mélé, Central African Republic, only half of the children in the region go to school because of conflict. Photo: UNICEF/Pierre Holtz
    14 November 2013 – The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has urged the transitional government in the Central African Republic (CAR) to immediately investigate recent allegations of killings of children amid the renewed violence in the country.
    “Any allegation of children being killed should be taken very seriously and looked at thoroughly,” Souleymane Diabate, UNICEF Representative in CAR, said in a news release.
    “If confirmed, perpetrators must be brought to justice. Since the beginning of the crisis, the population has been desperate for protection. Impunity must end immediately in order to break the vicious cycle of violence.”
    A transitional government is in place and entrusted with restoring law and order and paving the way for democratic elections in the country, which is recovering from the violence that erupted last December when the Séléka rebel coalition launched a series of attacks.
    However, recent armed clashes and reports of massacres are threatening to further destabilize the nation, which is also facing a dire humanitarian situation that affects some 4.6 million people.
    Since September, clashes between local self-defence groups called Anti-Balaka and ex-Séléka forces have triggered large scale displacements of up to 400,000 people, UNICEF said. These attacks have reportedly resulted in the killings of civilians, including children, in north-western CAR, especially Bossangoa, Bouar, Bohong and Yaloke.
    With many displaced families still scared to return home, UNICEF teams initially set up two areas in two displacement sites in Bossangoa where up to 600 children can feel safe and protected, play, access recreational and art activities and receive counselling and support.
    “UNICEF strongly condemns all acts of violence against children and calls on the transitional government to further investigate these reports and ensure that perpetrators of such acts are identified and brought to justice,” the agency stated.
    It also called on the transitional government and all armed forces and armed groups operating in the country to abide by international law, including Security Council resolutions aimed at ending the recruitment and use of children, the killing and maiming of children, and sexual violence against children in situations of armed conflict.

    News Tracker: past stories on this issue

    Thursday, November 21, 2013

    RIVERS' GARBAGEMAN: IT'S TOUGH & MISERABLE

    STORY HIGHLIGHTS
    ·         Chad Pregracke is dedicated to cleaning the Mississippi River and other U.S. waterways
    ·         He and his staff organize community cleanups across the country
    ·         They have a fleet of boats to get the job done, and they try to make cleanup fun for volunteers

    Picking up garbage, it's tough, miserable and hot. We try to make it fun.
    CNN Hero Chad Pregrac


    Want to get involved? Check out the Living Lands & Waters website 

    at www.livinglandsandwaters.org and see how to help.



    Democratic Republic of Congo


    Newly-arrived refugees from the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) at the Nyakabande Transit Centre in south-west Uganda. Photo: UNHCR/L. Beck

    The Envoys urge both parties to conclude the political process by signing a principled agreement that ensures the timely disarmament and demobilization of the M23 and accountability for perpetrators of war crimes and crimes against humanity.
    Joint statement by the Great Lakes Envoys on the announced end of the M23 rebellion, Kinshasa (DRC), 6 Nov '13



    atest Developments

    Wednesday, November 20, 2013

    Trekking through mud, rivers and jungle to provide free medical care

    Trekking through mud, rivers and jungle to provide free medical care

    By Meghan Dunn and Danielle Berger, CNN
    updated 6:46 PM EST, Sun November 3, 2013

    Top 10 CNN Hero: Dr. Georges Bwelle


    STORY HIGHLIGHTS
    • Dr. Georges Bwelle is bringing free health care to rural villages in Cameroon
    • Bwelle and his team spend almost every weekend seeing hundreds of patients
    • There aren't many doctors in the west African country; just one for every 5,000 people
    Yaounde, Cameroon (CNN) -- For 21 years, Georges Bwelle watched his ill father slip in and out of consciousness, traveling to hospitals that weren't equipped to help him.
    Jamef Bwelle was injured in a 1981 car accident near Yaounde, Cameroon's capital. He suffered only a broken arm at first, but an infection developed and spread to his brain, creating a hematoma that would affect him for the rest of his life.
    "There were no neurosurgeons in Cameroon," Georges Bwelle said. "We would have taken him out of Cameroon if we had the money."
    Instead, Bwelle spent years escorting his father to overcrowded clinics and hospitals, getting whatever treatment they could get.
    "It's not easy," Bwelle said. "You can leave home at 5 a.m., running to the hospital to be the first, and you are not the first. There (are) a lot of patients. ... Some people can die because they are waiting."
    The situation hasn't changed much since Bwelle's father passed away in 2002.
    Two out of five people in Cameroon live below the poverty line, and most of the country\'s health-care spending is private.
    Two out of five people in Cameroon live below the poverty line, and most of the country's health-care spending is private.
    In Cameroon, there is only one doctor for every 5,000 people, according to the World Health Organization. For comparison's sake, the ratio in the United States is one doctor for every 413 people.
    And even if they could see a physician, many Cameroonians couldn't afford it. Two out of five people in the country live below the poverty line, and nearly three-quarters of the country's health-care spending is private.
    "The only problem they have is poverty," Bwelle said. "And with poverty, they ... cannot enjoy their life."
    Seeing his father and so many of his countrymen suffer, Bwelle was determined to do something about it.
    He became a doctor himself, working as a vascular surgeon in Yaounde's Central Hospital. And he started a nonprofit, ASCOVIME, that travels into rural areas on weekends to provide free medical care. Since 2008, he and his group of volunteers have helped nearly 32,000 people.
    Almost every Friday, he and up to 30 people jam into vans, tie medical supplies to the roofs and travel across rough terrain to visit villages in need.

    The top 10 CNN Heroes of 2013The top 10 CNN Heroes of 2013
    Their luck doesn't always hold out: They've had to push vehicles through rivers and mud more than once. But when they arrive, they receive a true heroes' welcome: a feast, singing and dancing, and the best accommodations the community can offer.
    In these villages, free medical care is truly a cause for celebration, and Bwelle -- with his big smile and boundless energy -- is more than happy to join in the fun.
    The next morning, the team begins meeting with hundreds of patients.
    "We are receiving 500 people in each trip," Bwelle said. "They are coming from 60 kilometers (37 miles) around the village, and they're coming on foot."
    Each of these weekend clinics provides a variety of medical care. Many people are treated for malaria, tuberculosis, malnutrition, diabetes, parasites and sexually transmitted diseases. Others might receive crutches, a pair of donated eyeglasses or free birth certificates -- documentation that's required for school but that many impoverished families simply can't afford.
    In the evenings, the team will do simple surgeries with local anesthesia. Operations are usually done in a schoolhouse, town hall or home; after the procedure, patients get up and walk to the recovery area to make way for the next person.
    Dr. Georges Bwelle and his team of volunteers have performed 700 free surgeries in the past year.
    Dr. Georges Bwelle and his team of volunteers have performed 700 free surgeries in the past year.
    With the group's generator lighting the operating room and sanitizing equipment, Bwelle and his volunteers work into the early hours of Sunday morning. It's a backbreaking pace, but village musicians usually help keep the team motivated.
    "They are beating drums all the night to (keep us) awake and continue our work," Bwelle said.
    On Sunday, the team heads back to the city, tired but proud of their work. The group -- a mix of Cameroonian doctors and foreign medical students -- has performed 700 free surgeries in the past year, and they know that their help can make a world of difference to those they help.
    One man explained that the free hernia surgery he'd received will allow him to work again.
    "This will change my future with my family," the man said.
    In addition to holding these weekend clinics and working as a hospital surgeon, Bwelle also works nights at private medical clinics around Yaounde. It's this second job, he said, that funds about 60% of his nonprofit; the rest is covered by private donations.

    Jungle medicine
    "I'm not sure when he sleeps," said Katie O'Malley, a second-year medical student from Drexel University in Philadelphia and volunteer with Bwelle's group. "He is always either at the hospital or trying to make money for the organization so he can go on these campaigns."
    For medical and nursing students such as O'Malley, who come from the United States and Europe to join Bwelle on his missions, it's a hands-on opportunity they'd never get at home.
    "We've been able to scrub in on surgeries where we help blot blood away or hold tools for Dr. Bwelle," O'Malley said. "That's not something you'd ever get to do in America as a second-year medical student."
    The student volunteers usually pay their own way to Cameroon, often arriving with donated medical supplies. But once they arrive in Yaounde, their board, transportation and instruction are covered by Bwelle.
    "He's a hero, without a doubt," O'Malley said. "He gives his life to this organization, and his desire to help the Cameroon people is everlasting."
    For Bwelle, the near-constant workload isn't a hardship. Helping others live happier lives, fulfilling a promise he made to his father, is something that brings him great joy.
    "I am so happy when I am doing this work," Bwelle said. "And I think about my father. I hope he sees what I am doing.
    "To make people laugh, to reduce the pain, that's why I'm doing this."
    Want to get involved? Check out the ASCOVIME website and see how to help.

    Interview with Hester Paneras, Police Commissioner for the African Union - UN Mission in Darfur

    Interview with Hester Paneras, Police Commissioner for the African Union - UN Mission in Darfur

    Hester Paneras, Police Commissioner for the African Union - UN Mission in Darfur. Photo: UNAMID
     22
    530
     
    11 November 2013 – In June 2013, Hester Paneras was appointed Police Commissioner for the African Union – United Nations Mission in Darfur (UNAMID), which was established to help stem the suffering in that region of Sudan, where since 2003 fighting has led to the deaths of and estimated 300,000 people and displaced some 2 million more. Many of the displaced are surviving in camps in-country and many, particularly women, are vulnerable to a range of violent threats.
    The first woman to hold the top police position in a peacekeeping mission of this magnitude, Ms. Paneras brings to the job over than 30 years of experience in policing. She joined the Police Service of her native South Africa in December 1978, starting with grassroots level patrol and detective beats before rising to the officer ranks in 1984. She first worked in UNAMID as Deputy Police Commissioner for Policy and Planning from July 2010 to July 2011.
    UN News Services spoke to Ms. Paneras after she helped launch a website for the UN International Network for Female Police Peacekeepers as part of UN Police’s efforts to meet a goal of 20 per cent women in UN missions by 2014.
    UN News Centre: Can you tell us about UN police activities in Darfur?
    Hester Paneras: Our focus can be summarized under protection of civilians.  The host country has the first responsibility to protect its civilians, so we assist them in building capacity towards international standards and for that we are involved with the Government of Sudan police – training, but also capacity building looking at infrastructure and so forth.  In the beginning of August, we signed the Memorandum of Understanding with the Government.  It is part of the political process, to get cooperation. 
    Women have survival skills which can be given to other women. What I have experienced is that when they see you are a woman, their faces light up. It’s like they get a connection.
    On physical protection, we have formed police units which conduct patrols and other activities.  We also work together with the military [components of UNAMID] and we have individual police officers who interact with the communities.  They work very closely with the military observers as well.  So there’s the presence of the blue helmets on the ground to against possible attacks. 
    The third tier is creating a protective environment through building the capacity of communities. In that area we provide English lessons as well as livelihood projects where women are taught how to start businesses and so forth, as well as help to keep the youth busy with recreation activities.  Remember, a lot of these people are living in internally displaced persons (IDP) camps, where it sounds very lucrative for children to go and take up arms as part of the movements or to become part of crime groups.  So we try to give them alternative views on life.
    UN News Centre: Do you think a female peacekeeping police presence is important?
    Hester Paneras: It is totally essential.  Most of the people are women and children and, in the instance of a rape case, for instance, the woman will not talk about it easily in this culture.  The culture doesn’t provide for it to be made known.  There is change now; we are doing capacity-building and community education together with the Government of Sudan police. But it is much easier if we have women on the ground to deal with these issues.  A woman also has another way of looking at things, and especially when it comes to the capacity-building and the livelihood projects, women have survival skills which can be given to other women. 
    Police Commissioner Hester Paneras greets members of the UNAMID Police at UNAMID Headquarters in El Fasher, North Darfur in July 2013. Photo: UNAMID
    What I have experienced is that when they see you are a woman, their faces light up.  It’s like they get a connection.  They relate.  Unfortunately, when we look at individual police officers, we are about 16 per cent women in the Mission.  And when we look at the formed police units the number goes down dramatically.  We are looking currently at getting more females from Arabic-speaking countries.  Recently, Jordan started sending women – a few, but we hope they will increase.   We are also in contact with Egypt.  It is very important that women be encouraged to join police units and be strongly supported by their countries. 
    It’s not an easy environment, but we started a women’s network in 2010 to build a support structure and give advice.  I told ladies this past week, for instance, to buy a couple of packs of wet wipes just to use when there is no water.  These are small things that we can assist each other with, to make it easier.  Once women are in those faraway places and they start interacting with the local community, we get very positive response from both the women and the community. 
    UN News Centre: How are civilian protection strategies divided between police and military in UNAMID?
    Hester Paneras: In UNAMID, one has to work in an integrated fashion, but our formed police units are more focused on crowd control and on smaller protection and inner perimeter protection, especially in IDP camps where we have projects going on. Your military on the other hand, is more focussed on outer perimeter protection.  Of course the types of arms that the military and the formed police units have differ.  The military is more focussed on attacks from outside, the outer environment.  Your individual police officer is more focused on gathering information, identifying a crime situation and following up, and, on the other hand, coming up with community policing types of projects. Your military observers are focused on information gathering.  One cannot do one without the other.
    UN News Centre: Have you gone on patrol?  If so, what have you seen?
    Hester Paneras: Yes. The last time was a long-range patrol from Al Fasher to Nyala.  It took us nearly eight hours to travel 250 kilometres.  There are no developed roads, it’s like a gravel road and one goes very slow; it’s sandy.  One wonders how people survive.  People still live very close to the earth; there is really not a lot of development. When you get closer to a town you see a little piece of tarred road and a little bit more development.  A lot of women are alone and if you look in the fields, it’s women mostly doing the work and children are playing where there’s basically nothing. 
    Commissioner Paneras leads a meeting of the UN Sudan country team along with other officials at UNAMID headquartrs in El Fasher, North Darfur in September 2013. Photo: Albert González Farran/UNAMID
    When you go into an IDP camp [I wonder] how people can still smile under the circumstances.  If you go into those areas and you don’t feel a stirring inside then you’re not human.  I have a heart for the children, to see if we can make a better future for them. You see children laugh, but when you look at their eyes, you see that they have been through a lot.  But still people are trying under those circumstances and they are surviving. 
    UN News Centre: You say you see mainly women on your patrols.  Where are the men?
    Hester Paneras: Well, as far as we know, a lot of the men have been taken up in the movements, some in fighting and some have lost their lives.  So it is mostly women left behind in the IDP camps, along with some men, community leaders and so forth.  That is what we know.  We are just informed that most of these women don’t have men.  The men passed away. 
    UN News Centre: What is the role of community policing in Darfur?
    Hester Paneras: We started with community policing structures and training community volunteers.  Around 1,700 volunteers have been trained all over and we are continuing.  We’ve trained some women in IDP camps to be first-level responders for victims of crime and also to make it easier for women victims.  We are currently in process with the Government of Sudan police to see how we can further improve the community policing processes. 
    In the culture of Darfur and in Sudan as a whole, a lot of issues are dealt with under customary law.  I make a difference between customary and Shariah law – Shariah law is your real Islamic law, whereas customary law is the definite ethnic group’s way of dealing with things.  A lot of that is an alternative justice system.  In principle, the culture in Darfur is actually a community-policing-based culture and it is important to have understanding of the culture in order to utilize it. They have mediation roles; they have alternative resolutions like blood money and so forth. Where the alternative process is followed, we also talk to the leaders to see if we cannot also go through official processes in order to determine what the level of crime is, even if it’s resolved in an alternative way. 
    UN News Centre: Is the alternative way of resolving things acceptable?
    Hester Paneras serving as Deputy Police Comissioner in 2010, when she helped establish UNAMID Police Women NetWorking. Albert González Farran/UNAMID
    Hester Paneras: It depends.  One cannot say somebody else’s culture is not correct. For them, yes, it is working, but on the other hand, to get a real judicial process that is not always working.  That is why we are always looking to see how we can marry the two so that there is a due judicial process while utilizing the alternative processes.  In South Africa we have gone that way again, where people can be referred to the alternative process, even though [a crime] is reported in the official manner.   In your customary processes, you don’t always get the statistics.
    UN News Centre: So the records are not kept.
    Hester Paneras: The records are not kept and, for instance, it is possible that you will find that people who’ll say that there was a stray bullet that came through the roof that hit a person and it is not then always reported to the police and investigated, which means that it does leave a loophole to possibly cover up some crimes.  And one cannot always act preventively if one doesn’t have the total picture.
    UN News Centre: Going back to the participation of women police officers in UN peacekeeping operations, do you think the UN is on track to achieve the goal of 20 per cent women police in peacekeeping operations by 2014?
    Hester Paneras: I don’t think we are going to achieve it on time, but recently, there was a UN women’s peacekeeper forum established.  There was also a website launched last week in South Africa at the International Association of Women Police conference, where we had the police commissioner of South Africa who is a woman as well as the Inspectors General of Zambia and Senegal who are women.  They were invited to be honorary members.  I also had discussions with people in the gender office.  It will put us on track if we can get senior women who are leaders in the police from all over the world involved and provide a common understanding of what the women are exposed to and what role they can actually play.
    If we want to make the world a better place we have to assist each other. We cannot stay in our own little corners and expect the world to change.  So to make a difference for the women elsewhere in the world it’s important.  And I think if we can have the involvement of these women, and to look and to have an influence on police contributing countries in order to start understanding what it is about, I think if we understand these things then the support can be there and then we can look at deploying more women.  Currently we are looking at the possibility of even keeping women a little bit longer in the Mission so that there’s more of an overlap to have more women at a time than their male counterparts, but we cannot do that if we don’t have the support of the contributing countries. 
    UN News Centre: What other challenges are preventing more women from participating in peacekeeping operations?
    Hester Paneras: I think women in policing is relatively young in the whole world.  Countries themselves are not always in the position to get to the relevant numbers.   We are looking, in my country, at 30 per cent women.  We’re getting there, but is it sufficient?  Currently, nations are also trying to retain their women to deal with issues in-country but I think if deployment from 18 months to two years could be possible they will get enriched women back, because they will be exposed to things that will make them stronger and give them more experience which they can then plough back into their countries -- with the understanding that when these women go back they’re optimally utilized.  So what is in it for the country itself has to be very clear as well, because this is a capacity-building process for them that costs them very little.
    UN News Centre: What inspired you to become a police officer, when you first applied in South Africa?
    Hester Paneras: I was twelve years old. This was 1972, the year that women were first admitted into the police in South Africa.  Since I was a kid I always played “police and crooks” with the boys and I was always interested in topics like drugs, different crime issues.  In school debates, I would always choose a topic in that regard.  I was twelve when I told my parents that I wanted to go into the police.  I didn’t have a second alternative even in mind.  When I finished school, in my final year, I applied. At that stage they only took in 96 women in the country at a time – three platoons. At that stage it was also only white women. Coloured – Indian, African women – only came in starting in 1982. When I applied, women had to go through a complex process.  We were 12 on the day that I went to the interview and two were selected. I was lucky to go to the college at the beginning of 1979.
    So I always wanted to be a police officer.  If they didn’t take me I don’t know what I what have done.
    UN News Centre: What are some of the challenges you have had to overcome in your career?
    UNAMID police women march to celebrate the launching of an expanded Police Women Network in El Fasher, North Darfur in 2012. UN Photo/Albert González Farran
    Hester Paneras: I did my Master’s thesis on the disparity of gender representation in the police in South Africa.  I found out things that I didn’t even realize.  When women first joined in 1972, they were appointed to the same structure as men and they wrote the same exams.  Then in 1976, a telex said that women at an alarming rate were passing the exams, and if this was allowed to continue women would take over the most senior positions, which could not be allowed, because women did not have the capacity physically and mentally to take charge of men.  And then women were put on a separate structure, allocating a number of posts for them.  In 1984, when I went on the officer’s course, we could not be immediately promoted, because there were no posts for women. 
    Women also had to get special permission to get married.  If they were not happy with the person you married, or if a woman got pregnant, even if the father was a police officer, the woman was dismissed.  Women were also not allowed to be in charge of men.  Men were also discriminated against, because if a woman worked a night shift in the 70s or 80s, you had to be picked up at your home, which was a privilege that men didn’t have. In 1989, however, the first woman was appointed as a station commander and in 1992 the male and female structures became one again.  I was lucky, because they put us back where our rank should have been.  In 1995, affirmative action processes started kicking in. 
    UN News Centre: In your perspective what are some of the key elements to protecting civilians in conflict areas like Darfur?
    Hester Paneras: One really has to look at the cultural undertones, and I’m not talking culture in a sense of necessarily ethnicity, I’m talking about the culture that was created by the conflict.  In a lot of instances, one will find a situation where women were so abused that they started accepting it as the way of life.  This is they way it is.  One of the things is to start working with that mindset to get into a mode where they are willing to stand up for themselves.  There is a male issue as well; it’s not only about the females.  One has to start changing perceptions and then build on that.  Part of it is capacity building.  A good example where a country has gone from conflict into good community police and protection of women is Rwanda.  I think in South Africa we’ve also done quite well. 
    Opening up to alternative approaches is very important, but the most important is to show that it doesn’t have to be like that.  You can get out of it.  
    - See more at: http://www.un.org/apps/news/newsmakers.asp?NewsID=98#sthash.NkbrMPhb.dpuf